Conflict Resolution

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Tom Sally Simon No preference

First, tick the items which best describe your needs, concerns, goals or challenges:

  I often handle differences effectively but I "beat myself up" when I don't
  I get confused about whose problem it is - mine or theirs
  I tend to make others' problems my own
  Faced with conflict I am at a loss for words and I lose my way
  In conflicts I become anxious, defensive, avoidant or I give up on myself
  I let others get their way even though this doesn't seem fair or right at the time
  Something about my style of communication seems to cause conflicts
  I am told I am hostile, bullying, aggressive or manipulative
  I usually end up "second best" in a conflict
  I become defensive if I am challenged
  I feel guilty if I assert my needs
  I struggle to represent myself accurately when faced with a conflict.
  How I deal with others' hostility or indirect aggression causes problems
  When people behave immaturely in conflict, I get drawn into playing tit-for-tat with them
  I don't feel confident enough to directly let people know I see things differently
  Rather than speak up, I pretend I am someone different from who I really am
  I make it easy for people to overstep guidelines or intrude on my needs and resources
  I allow other people to manipulate me to get their needs met
  I sometimes get overwhelmed by others' negative feedback about me
  My work team doesn't deal well with differences
  I want to reduce the level and incidence of destructive conflict in my life
  Some people just seem impossibly difficult to relate to constructively
  I'd like to be more confident around others' anger, hostility or negative feedback
  I find it difficult to "get my message across" in ways that are heard, when I am angry or in conflict with someone
  I need to modify some of the unhelpful attitudes I have towards myself or others when I am in conflict
  I'd like to know more about my own part in the problems I have with other people
  I want to help other people deal effectively with their conflicts

Other needs, concerns, goals, challenges or interests:

Next, complete these statements, where possible, to record some of your strengths:

I usually do best with conflict and differences under these circumstances:

Things I am confident about in this area of my life, include:

Despite unclarity about some conflict resolution issues, I am clear about:

Any further comments you would like to make: