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Heart Centred Leadership
(By Simon Jones)
At its heart, leadership is about who we are: our beliefs, values, motivations, attitudes, integrity and other personal qualities. Although a competent leader requires knowledge, understanding and skill, it is a leader's character to which others largely and primarily respond.
Improving leadership remains a hot topic in both not-for-profit organisations and the business world. A new book on the subject appears nearly every week. Most issues of business magazines include articles about how to become a better leader. Find the right leader who provides the right kind of leadership, common wisdom has it, and you've found the Holy Grail.
What's interesting is that many authors, academics and speakers seem to be saying much the same thing: effective leaders have developed their hearts (or souls) and their people skills. These heart-centred leaders demonstrate how much they value people by treating them with care and respect, listening to them and responding appropriately to their concerns; consulting and collaborating with them; and by being big enough to hear criticism and admit when they've made a mistake. These are the leaders who build respect, loyalty and trust within their teams. Leaders such as these inspire and create successful organisations.Developing character
Building character involves consciously developing practical, challenging and compassionate leadership over ourselves, in order to be the best we are capable of becoming. This is achieved largely by: (i) understanding how our personal beliefs, values, motivations, assumptions, attitudes and everyday practices affect our relationships; and (ii) refining these, to improve those relationships.
Both practices are tempting to avoid because they require discipline, to bring what are usually unconscious qualities to our awareness; and the courage to look in the mirror. There are two aspects to this, best regarded as routine aspects of the leadership role: being open to, seeking and listening to others' feedback; and reflecting on this feedback and current practices with a trusted mentor, coach or supervisor.
The greater the degree of self-leadership, the greater is the likelihood of effective, inspiring and compassionate leadership of others. Like so many other aspects of life, we cannot give what we don't possess and practise.Using power with integrity
A heart-centred leader must understand the dynamics of power and use it with integrity.
We are all in the business of influencing others. Whether with our managers, CEOs, colleagues, political leaders, friends or family we all seek to win friends and influence people. We may try with varying success, to influence others to take notice of us or to value, help, hire, promote, vote for or marry us. As Blaine Lee puts it, "Power and influence are as personal and general as the air we breathe!" Many of us, however, are not very aware of how we use power, or may believe that we have little influence over others or the power to change our lives for the better.
Key points about power include:
- We all need to use power.
- We need to be aware of how we use it.
- There are different means of using it, some healthy, others unhealthy.
- It can be used to make choices which have long-term benefits.
Coercion and bargaining
The most common strategies used by under-developed leaders to gain power and influence are coercion and bargaining. These often work in the short term, but then fail in the longer term as negative consequences materialise.
Coercion involves 'power-over' others, using our superior strength or position to force others to comply. We are able to control others but only as long as we keep coercing and watching over them. As soon as the threat is removed or we are no longer there to keep an eye on them they no longer need to do our bidding. When our back is turned they may begin to sabotage or undermine us or the organisation. Alternatively, they may become dependent on us to tell them what to do at every turn. The way many parents threaten dire consequences unless their child "behaves" is a good example of coercive power. As soon as the child is strong and smart enough he or she will become a "rebellious teenager" and/or disappear to a far away place beyond parental influence.
Within bargaining power, a person does something for another only if there is something of equal value done for them in return. This type of power relationship is based on the principle you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. It is evident everywhere in society and very effectively gets things done.
The downside is that the deal is constantly up for re-negotiation. Maybe someone better qualified to do the job will appear or you no longer need what the other has. Imagine if your partner was constantly comparing you to the 'opposition' and trying out other 'products'. There is no long-term loyalty, safety or security in this kind of power relationship.
According to Stephen Covey these two approaches are: ". . . socially acceptable but are not in alignment with universal principles. That is why they don't work in the long run. They focus on efficiency and control. But when you're working with people fast is slow and slow is fast. Efficiency doesn't cut it. Have you ever tried to be efficient with your spouse on a tough issue? Or with your teenager on an emotionally charged issue? How did it go? . . . There is another alternative - the middle way - not a compromise middle, but a higher middle way like the apex of a triangle."The power principle
Using our power with integrity and respect for others is the only approach that works in the long term. Blaine Lee called this third way "The Power Principle", which is where relationships are based on honour and respect earned rather than assumed through our position.
In this approach we have 'power-with' others, rather than 'power-over' others. People listen to and respect us because we listen to and respect them. This kind of power is based on the soundest human values, principles and ethics, such as those found in the constitutions of most democratic countries: freedom with responsibility, equal rights, egalitarianism, co-operation, dignity, loyalty, and respect for others. In other words, love and compassion for ourselves and towards others.
Developing and practicing these capabilities and values takes much time and effort because for most of us, they were not modelled to us during our upbringing, schooling and early job experiences. It is, however, the intention and direction not perfection, which counts. Our character is built slowly over time as we learn from our mistakes and from the inspired example of others.
As leaders we are constantly faced with challenging situations where we can accomplish something positive and constructive if we put our enthusiasm, skills, creativity and will-power into effect. We have the choice to be powerless or powerful. And we can choose which kind of power and influence we will use to accomplish our goals. As a beginning, we might usefully examine the ways in which we use power or challenge ourselves to truly treat team members as responsible adults who want to do the right thing for the team, replacing any current emphasis on rules and policies with values and trust. Leading by example (while also providing adequate direction, support and training) encourages people to work enthusiastically for the organisation and exercise good judgment.
Heart-centred leadership is not about what we know or about any fancy techniques. It is about who we are on the inside.
©2005 Simon Jones
Simon Jones is a professional mentor who also provides supervision and leadership training. The Heart of Leadership is his up-coming training programme for those new to leadership and people wishing to further develop their confidence and capability as a leader. For more information contact Simon.
¹The Power Principle: Influence with Honor, Blaine Lee and Stephen R Covey, Covey Leadership Centre, 1997
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